I never thought I would have this conversation with my 4 year-old twins. My girls see people as chocolate and vanilla (their favorite ice cream flavors); they focus on conversation starters like “why do I have fingers?” and my response is so you can hold things, write, so on and so forth. My girls’ response is “so they can wear fingernail polish” and then I am asked, “why do we have feet?” I say walk, stand, etc., and their response was “so you can paint your toenails” and then I am asked what do girls need, I say food,shelter, and protection, and they say “make-up”. Clearly, I do not know what girls want, lol, nor do they want to hear about the reality of the world. I did not anticipate having the conversation about the color of their skin and the impact on society for at least another 6 years. Parents of all races are facing questions such as “what do I do next?” I have to give credit to this Caucasian woman, in a recent community zoom call, who said, “I am going to control what I can control, and focus on how my children see the world.” I am not necessarily a front line person, but I feel like my kids would want to know where their Dad stood during this historical moment. For that reason, I will do the same, and help my kids see the world through the lens of all people being equal, but understanding that others may treat them differently because of the color of their skin. What are you going to do to impact positive change? When is the right time to start talking to your kids about race?
Tag Archives: What is your legacy
Trick or Treat
Some say having twins is a double blessing, and I cannot refute that, but that doesn’t alleviate the added pressure, because if I get this wrong, I ruin the lives of two people, not just one. The natural progression of parenting is with more experience you get better, and unfortunately, but true, the first child experience can be comparable to the probationary period with a new job and as your learning about the job expectations and how you’re a good fit, the employer and colleagues are evaluating you as well. I guess the only difference is that you just can’t just leave if you don’t like it, well actually, I’ll just stop there. Nevertheless, I have high expectations for myself, but I know the only perfect person is GOD. As my parents used to tell me when you are kid, your parents should be your GOD, and I know this may seem controversial to some, but I get the gist, that you have to be a representation of GOD as he has given you a gift and they look to us for everything. If you think about yourself as kid, and how you were completely dependent on your parents, I believe as parents we should cherish that gift. I just hope if my girls read this one day they will know that I gave it my all, and although I made some mistakes along the way, it was done with love, good spirits, and their best interest in mind. What would you want your kids to say about you when they talk to their own children? What traits or characteristics do you hope they emulate of yours? What traits or characteristics do you hope they do not acquire?
Chronicles of a Twin Dad 