When life gives you a second chance, give your best shot; fortunately for me he did not shoot, but that did not deter me from having reoccurring thoughts like “what if the guy who approached us was reckless; and killed us.” God’s plan had a greater purpose, and although, at the time, I was unsure and questioning, “why me?”, I am blessed to have the opportunity to write this blog 19 years later. In fact, in 2015, it hit me, as my wife and I were near the end of our pregnancy and made the conclusion that it would be in the best interest that we pursue a C-section. Although the due date was October 8th, with twins full cycle is 38 weeks; for that reason, the doctor had to choose a date, so we can make plans to be ready on that day, and she opted for September 25th. A surreal moment for me; everything became a full circle. All the years of saying “Happy 925 day” to my best friend now had new meaning. I truly understood my purpose and why GOD kept my friend and me alive, which so I can help birth two beautiful girls into the world. You can’t make these things up!
Tag Archives: Twins
C.O.R.O.N.A(Carrier Offensive Repugnant Objectionable Naive Ailment)
Whatever words you use to describe this pandemic, COVID-19, the official name given by World Health Organization, has sparked a variety of emotions. Most negative, for valid reasons, and if you look at the world as glass half-full, I’ve been pleasantly surprised by the fight and creativity that many people have displayed all of the world to support each other by offering several remote services to try and provide a sense of normalcy in a world that is now abnormal. This epidemic has also given me the opportunity to see my girls, and I know that sounds funny, but for some of us, you find yourself just surviving. Day by day, week by week, month by month, year by year, I am fortunate to see my girls every day, but I never had a moment to just observe, sit back, and just breathe for a second. Not worried about what I am going to wear to work, gas I need to put in my car, having to rush and pick them up for daycare. And you know what, my girls are amazing. One is funny, at this age they break you down, know your tendencies, and nothing gets past them. The other is just as nonchalant as one can be, but do not make a promise you cannot keep because her memory is like an elephant, and she will call you out in a minute. I do not know how long this new normal will exist, but I am going put all my energy into my girls and be positive. What about you? What are some positive things that you have uncovered about yourself or your children during these times? If you have children 4 years of age or younger, have you spoken to them about COVID-19? If so, how did the conversation go?
Trick or Treat
Some say having twins is a double blessing, and I cannot refute that, but that doesn’t alleviate the added pressure, because if I get this wrong, I ruin the lives of two people, not just one. The natural progression of parenting is with more experience you get better, and unfortunately, but true, the first child experience can be comparable to the probationary period with a new job and as your learning about the job expectations and how you’re a good fit, the employer and colleagues are evaluating you as well. I guess the only difference is that you just can’t just leave if you don’t like it, well actually, I’ll just stop there. Nevertheless, I have high expectations for myself, but I know the only perfect person is GOD. As my parents used to tell me when you are kid, your parents should be your GOD, and I know this may seem controversial to some, but I get the gist, that you have to be a representation of GOD as he has given you a gift and they look to us for everything. If you think about yourself as kid, and how you were completely dependent on your parents, I believe as parents we should cherish that gift. I just hope if my girls read this one day they will know that I gave it my all, and although I made some mistakes along the way, it was done with love, good spirits, and their best interest in mind. What would you want your kids to say about you when they talk to their own children? What traits or characteristics do you hope they emulate of yours? What traits or characteristics do you hope they do not acquire?
Routine is King
One of the major reasons, I believe raising twins has been manageable is the incorporation of routines. The funny thing before getting married and having twins is that I used to be the complete opposite; everything was spontaneous and random. I did not like order, in fact, my order was organized chaos, and as long as it made sense to me, I was moving forward with that activity. When you begin to incorporate kids, in particular twins, your only shot is to have some type of order, process, and plan in place, literally from morning to evening. Every moment (as much as possible) has to be accounted for and random cannot occur or be an option. Especially, if you are by yourself, or even with a partner, it just makes things a lot easier to deal with and a good sign that things are going well is if you forget one of the routines, and your child reminds you, then they begin to anticipate and are bought into the process. What is your routine? What are some things that you have tried to incorporate in your day to day that has been not been effective?
Favoritism
Recently, I was picking my girls from daycare, and as we arrived home and I began to start my routine (which is to run open the front door, then go back to car and go on each side unbuckling my girls out the car seat with the anticipation they may run down the street) so I have to be quick on my feet and as well as have my hands free, as I attempt to usher them inside the house. However, this day was different, as I attempted to get Mackenzie out of the car, Madison says to me “why do you always get Mackenzie out of the car first.” I was shocked and stunned. I didn’t know what to say, and as I thought about it, she was probably right, but it wasn’t anything intentional other than Mackenzie is usually eager to get out faster than Madison. This was my first moment of acknowledging how favoritism is not something you can control; however, it is something that as a parent we should always be mindful of that even at 3 years of age, our kids are always watching. From that point on, I make a conscious effort to rotate who I take out of the car. Have you ever had a moment when your child called you out? How did you deal with it? What things do you consciously do to avoid that from happening again?
Chronicles of a Twin Dad 